When
my old friend Deborah invited me to a dinner party at her house,
I little thought it would be the direct means of my gaining
spiritual insight through astrology in less than ten minutes.
Yet it was, and here is the way it all came about.
Towards the end of the evening things began to drag a bit as
they often do at parties. Finally someone suggested the old
idea of having everyone do an astrological party piece. Some
answered horaries, others forced weird midpoint trees on us,
elected charts, related mythological tales and so on.
Then
it came to Garry's turn. He said he had a simple "trick" which
he hoped we would like. First he asked to be blindfolded. Those
present were asked to call out their chart data. He then asked
me to describe the major configurations in their charts. Garry
then astounded everyone by his insight into the soul's purpose.
Over and over again he answered questions such as:- Who am I?
Why am I here? Is there a higher meaning to life? Without making
a single mistake.
You
may well imagine our amazement at Garry's remarkable feat. You
naturally expect to see a thing of this sort at conferences.
Even then you look upon it as a trick. But to see it done by
an ordinary astrologer, in plain view of everyone, blindfolded
and under conditions which make spiritual intervention impossible,
is astonishing to say the least.
On
the way home that evening I asked Garry how it was done. He
said there was really nothing to it - simply a technique, the
key to which anyone could easily learn in one evening. The reason
most people have poor spiritual insight is because they leave
enlightenment to chance. Anyone could do what she had done and
develop an insight, he said, by following a few simple rules.
And then he told me exactly how to do it. At the time I little
thought that evening would prove to be one of the most eventful
in my life, but that's what it proved to be. What Garry said
I took to heart.
In
one evening I made remarkable strides in attaining new spiritual
heights. In just a few days I learned to do exactly what he
had done. At first I amused myself with my new-found ability
by amazing people at parties. Everyone was talking about the
soul's purpose and I was showered with invitations. I found
that my ability to offer spiritual insight helped me tremendously,
especially in consultations The astrologer who can back up his
statements quickly with a string of spiritualistic insights
dominates every session. What's more I can do a consultation
quicker and with much less effort than before. What Garry told
me that eventful evening was this. "Send for details of Madame
Sosostris' course.
I
did. That was my first step to learning to do all the remarkable
things I have told you about. I was so impressed that I got
permission to publish her course myself. Forget studying with
Trans-Himalayan Masters. There's no need to spend years in contemplation.
All you have to do is master this short course. My advice to
you now is don't wait a minute. Full details of the remarkable
Course are available free on request. You will be amazed how
it can improve your opportunities at work and in your social
life. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by posting
the coupon today. But in case you don't believe me, take a quick
look at the course outline below. I'm sure you'll waste no time
after reading this and enrol immediately.

Lesson
1 - Excuse me. I'd just like to ask a question. What does God
need with a starship? 1
It's
often been said that the stars impel, not compel. In simple
language that means that you follow the map in front of you
and not let your personal starship go willy-nilly where it likes.
In the old days everyone was part of the cosmos and the cosmos
was part of you. Fate used to mean something and everyone followed
it. The zodiac showed the path along which all life would travel
and the houses showed you a path you could follow or just where
you were most likely to screw yourself. Since the invention
of free will things have changed. Nowadays only a bad Neptune
transit to your south node is likely to see you completely screwed.
Unless you want to be. That's free will. Learn more about being
impelled rather than impaled.

Lesson
2 - Please, Spock, do me a favour ...and don't say it's `fascinating'..
- "No... but it is... interesting" 2
Everything
under creation is based on the interaction of streams of energy
pouring into our solar system. Some signs have one ray, some
two or three. Or maybe six or seven. OR EVEN AS MANY AS EIGHTEEN!!!!
Some will probably have more when we discover them. The ascendant
shows the spiritual form your soul functions through, in addition
to telling you whether you're good looking or not. A close study
of your rising sign will show whether you can be enlightened
easily or will need some practice. The rays are:-
1
- will, power, willpower, the power of will, will you have power.
2
- is it wise to love, should you not bother, when is love spiritual
anyway?
3
- intelligence, have you got any and do you need it to be spiritual.
4
- harmony, resolving conflict and knowing when to knock it on
the head.
5
- knowledge, science, complicated things that truly spiritual
people don't need to understand.
6
- idealism, devotion, how to be devoted, how to get people devoted
to you.
7
- miscellaneous

Lesson
3 -You can either make your own decisions or you can let these
prophecies make them for you. 3
With
free will you can listen to prophecies without having to take
them too seriously. Instead of fate, modern spirituality has
karma. One student said "I think karma is what is happening
if squash bugs when you're a kid, and then later in life an
elephant falls on you. I used to think it was a make of Volkswagen."
Whereas with fate, the elephant would fall on you even if you
let the bugs escape. Looking at the Moons nodes can show you
what karmic baggage you bring into this incarnation and how
you can best hide it. "Retrogrades are one of the primary causes
of sexual difficulties in the world today" says one renowned
astrological writer. Learn how to become more enlightened so
your retrograde planets can ENHANCE your sex life.

Lesson
4 - A little suffering is good for the soul. 4
The
divine part of yourself seeks expression and the higher part
of yourself connects with that part. Life is a collection of
trials and tribulations that give you the opportunity to uncover
your divine spark and the purpose of your mission in this incarnation.
The wounds and obstacles you experience can be fuel for your
spiritual growth and evolution. Without spiritual study they
simply make life hell.

Lesson
5 - If there's nothing wrong with me maybe there's something
wrong with the universe. 5
Once
you understand how the powers of the rays work and the potential
of finding divine enlightenment, life will never be the same
again. There's no need to be held back by what fate has in store
for you. The Neptunian bliss you can only truly experience from
being totally wrapped up in yourself is like no bliss you can
find elsewhere.

Lesson
6 - Course heading Captain? - Second star to the right and straight
on till morning. 6
There
is a need within us all to understand the bigger questions.
You need to know your souls purpose otherwise you will feel
unfulfilled, lost and alienated. And who wants that? Sometimes
the souls purpose can become lost through time and the mundane
circumstances of life. Learn how to ignore the pressures and
responsibilities reality throw at you and how to become more
enlightened.

Lesson
7 - Is that really an ancient legend? - "No. But that made it
easier to say. 7
Modern
astrology attempts to explain planetary meanings in terms of
old myths and legends. But it's really much easier than that.
The real meaning of the planets, in this new astrology, comes
from what they look like. So Jupiter is associated with jugs
and swans, the Sun with fried eggs and so on. With the active
participation of the higher self it's possible to discover a
whole new range of meanings for any part of the chart and avoid
learning all the complicated rules of the old fashioned, traditional
astrology.

Lesson
8 - The Universe is not so badly designed. 8
Reading
a horoscope in a spiritual way is a sacred process, not to be
undertaken lightly. Connecting with your higher self you can
use the chart as a tool with the planets acting as your guides
for this lifetime. To read a chart in a spiritual fashion you
need to think with your heart and feel with your mind. Sort
of like patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same
time. In fact, patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the
same time is a helpful exercise in stimulating your symbolic
mind and activating your imagination. Once you get it right
you find that your etheric heart begins to vibrate, the atomic
constitution of your brain changes and you have a great party
trick.

Lesson
9 - I have an appointment with eternity and I don't want to
be late. 9
Of
all the rays in manifestation only five are in incarnation at
any given time:- mineral, plant, animal, human and spiritual
people -like those who have done this course.

Lesson
10 - What kind of fool ARE you? - My own special variety. 10
Spiritual
astrology only gives results for those who are consciously living
a spiritual life. For most ordinary people, traditional astrology
is good enough as they're not up to higher meanings. If you're
on the path in a deliberate and determined way, like students
of this course, you will be able to resonate to the deeper indications
relevant to the unfolding of your spiritual life.

Lesson
11 - I see no practical use for them. - Does everything have
to have a practical use for you? - They're nice, they're soft
and they're furry and they make a pleasant sound. - So would
an ermine violin doctor, but I see no advantage in having one.
11
There
is no greater goal than to live according to the wishes of your
soul. Once you have a deeper understanding of the profound meaning
behind the zodiacal wheel and can see the higher potential revealed
in each sign your soul can shine forth. And dazzle your friends.
We, the publishers, have printed Mme Sosostris' unique spiritual
astrology method in eleven easy lessons. To enrol simply post
the coupon below enclosing a cheque for £2,500. Can you afford
to wait any longer for enlightenment?
Notes:-
Madame Sosostris appears in TS Eliot's poem The Wasteland.
Madame
Sostris, famous clairvoyante, Has a bad cold, nevertheless,
Is known to be the wisest woman in Europe… Thank you. If you
see dear Mrs Equitone, Tell her I bring the hosocope myself;
One must be so careful these days.
The
quotation about retrograde planets appears in Martin Schulman's
Karmic Astrology (Retrogrades and Reincarnation).

Star
trek quotations:-
1
Kirk to Being in The Final Frontier.
2
McCoy and Spock, The Original Star Trek. The Ultimate Computer.
3
Dax to Sisko, Deep Space 9, Destiny.
4
Kirk, The Original Star Trek, The Corbomite Maneuver.
5
Dr Beverly Crusher, The Next Generation, Remember Me.
6
Chekov and Kirk in The Undiscovered Country - from Peter
Pan by JM Barrie,
7
Chakatoy and Janeway, Voyager, Resolutions .
8
Picard, The Next Generation, Tapestry.
9
Soran in Generations.
10
Ty Kajada and Odo, Deep Space 9, The Passenger.
11
Spock and McCoy, The Original Star Trek, The Trouble with
Tribbles .

With
thanks to Jeanette Girosky for sharing her bedtime reading of
Vettius Valens. And to Mike Southern for his definition of karma.